|
|
CIVIL UNION
BY PETER KURTH (published 04.04.01)
Life and love conspired to drop me into the raging cauldron of Vermont civil unions last weekend. I suppose it
was baptism by fire, since my “GLBT” friends up here in North Sodom all seem to be getting hitched. The
invitations are pouring in – I don’t know what to wear! Do I
say “bride and groom,” “groom and groom,”
“bride and bride,” or what? Is there or should there be any
transfer of patriarchal identity -- "Oh, Mr. Kurth -- and Mr. Kurth!" -- along with
insurance and death benefits? Yes? No?
Oh, dear. On the subject of civil unions, I feel like the White
Rabbit in Alice. The Duchess will have my whiskers! I can see all points of view,
even the stupid, hateful, ugly, Christian ones, anyone’s personal
belief being as sincere, I guess, as anyone else’s. So you see where
that leaves me – up a tree (or down the rabbit hole).
Frankly, I wouldn’t get married again if they outlawed it
completely, which is the only thing that could make it attractive to me. I
suspect that many of my “GLBT” friends are tying the knot at
this juncture out of solidarity and support for the civil-union law. I say
"at this juncture," because those animals in Montpelier, who can’t get sex off their
minds, have been back on the attack. Damned if the House hasn’t voted
to outlaw "gay marriage," defining which person with which body
can marry what person with another body, just so long as their bodies are different.
This puts all the stress of marriage on sex, an odd position for
religious people and an impossible condition over the long term. I have
this for a fact, as I used to encounter so many married men in places where
gay men congregate. It might have been dark, but you could always see the glint
of gold on their fingers or in their terrified eyes. I don’t meet
these men anymore, but that’s because I don’t meet anyone
anymore. Except the other night, as I say, when I went to my first civil
union.
I’d call it a civil union ceremony,
the way other people talk about marriage or wedding ceremonies. But it was more than that, because it was, you
know, legal. So it wasn’t just a ceremony. This is assumed to be the
case in all "straight" marriages, I believe, no matter how
bizarre and no matter what the married couple does in bed (or outside of
it, or not at all).
Anyhow, I went to this really lovely civil union Saturday night, done
up just the way men like it, with a harpist, a hunky waiter and candles
floating in little bowls. It was different from the "commitment"
exercises of the past, of which I’ve been to plenty, thank you. It
was different because it had something that those didn’t --
legitimacy, and the shared knowledge of legitimacy. Only those who’ve
never known it can know what legitimacy is and does (ask any
"bastard").
Now, as I've said, I’m against marriage, and I have been ever
since I got divorced. This is no comment on other people's lives, as I hope
they know, but I’m entitled to my opinion, because this is America and because – well, this is America. If it weren’t, we’d be a
lot quicker out of this civil-union thicket, as they are, or shortly will
be, in all civilized countries.
Paris now has an openly gay mayor. In China,
they’ve taken homosexuality off the list of psychiatric disturbances
and given it to capitalism – gay sex might be dirty, but
there’s “nothing wrong with it,” remember? And in Holland -- thanks to pressure from a lot of
L’s, I imagine -- the sex-and-gender thing has been removed
completely from all lawful coupling. Now, anyone who gets married in Holland, or united in a civil way, is
automatically a "spouse" (rhymes with louse). From there, the churches can take it –
do whatever they like – should any self-respecting “GLBT”
give a damn what churches think.
In the meantime, an email from VFTMTF and VCULDF – please,
there isn’t room – alerts me to the attempt of Rep. Peg Flory
(R-Awful), chair of the House Judiciary Committee, to overturn
Vermont’s civil union law by replacing it with something called
"reciprocal partnership." I’m to fight this in Montpelier next week by showing up wearing my
"pink sticker." Alas, I’ll be "out of town."
Rep. Flory says she wants her bill to take sexual orientation out of
law. I want them to take it out of everything – or, rather, put it
back where it was, make it a personal thing again (and a little dangerous,
too, please, because that was half the fun and most of the
excitement). I speak as an elder
here. If they’ve come up with another word to describe fiftyish
homophile males who don’t give a damn, someone, please, let me know.
|
