ARTICLES

GENERAL

AT HER MAJESTY’S PLEASURE
After a nightmare flight from New York City I was thrown into a Victorian hellhole of a prison alongside drug smugglers and rapists. This is my story.

MIDDLE AGE THREW ME A WICKED CURVE
I never expected to grow old -- and I really didn't expect to end up with a crooked penis!

KOESTLER’S LEGACY
The Author of `Darkness at Noon a double-suicide with his wife, left his whole estate to paranormal research.

DANCING IN THE DARK
I was racing against death when I signed up to write Isadora Duncan's biography -- and winning wouldn't even be my strangest adventure along the way.

IN THE NAME OF THE SISTER:THE STEPHEN FAGAN CASE
“You'll remember that Barbara Kurth is the mother whose daughters were kidnapped by her ex-husband, Stephen Fagan, who changed his name and lived in shadowy splendor in Palm Beach, Florida, raising "the girls" as they are always called, having told them their mother died in a car crash. … So, of course, since she is the mother, Barbara Kurth has been attacked in the media, solely on the basis of allegations by Stephen Fagan, who says she was an alcoholic who neglected the children, leaving him no choice. He doesn't explain why he kept up the deception for two decades, long after his ex-wife had clearly overcome her problems, if she ever had any, and had gotten a Ph.D. (she is now a professor of cell biology, married -- but no kids).His whole family was in on it, too … It's hard to imagine the cruelty involved here.” Katha Pollitt

D. A. MITTELL COMMENTARY
"In order to strip Stephen Fagan bare of the image contrived by his hired flacks, we need to look at his case coldly and see it for what it is: His crime was heinous, unspeakably cruel; and morally, if not legally, he renewed it and repeated it on every one of the approximately 7,300 days he kept his girls and their mother in the dark.”

NOTES FROM THE PLAGUE YEARS

REFLECTIONS ON PROTEASE THERAPY
National Public Radio, “Morning Edition,” October 1996

CALL ME LAZARUS
There’s nothing like rising from the grave to get people’s attention.

AN OPEN LETTER TO SANDY THURMAN
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to address an AIDS Czarina -- "Your Tokenhood?" "Your Nothingness?" "Your Ineffectuality?" (Salon.com, 1997)

PROPECIA
One of the stranger side effects of the super-toxic chemicals I take to stay alive is that my hair has started growing again. I mean new hair. On my head.

HOMO RULE
Remember, when they say “one man, one woman,” they mean one at a time.

CIVIL UNION
On the subject of Vermont’s civil union law, I can see all points of view, even the stupid, hateful, ugly, Christian ones.

LEMON-AIDS
I never expected to live this long, never mind in such good health.I also never expected that citrus – a little Florida Sunshine, as that old fag-baiter Anita Bryant used to say – might be the answer for us all.

BOOK REVIEWS

THE EDUCATION OF ARNOLD HITLER by Marc Estrin
I don't write fiction, and I'm amazed at the mixture of erudition, imagination and sureness of purpose that went into the creation of a work as sharp and enticing as this.

THE WHITE NIGHT OF ST. PETERSBURG by Michael of Greece
A bauble here, an icon there -- it adds up: There was never so much Fabergé lying around the Romanov palaces that a few missing pieces wouldn't be noticed.

AMERICANS IN PARIS, edited by Adam Gopnik
Why do Yankees love the City of Light?

THE DREAMER OF BROOKLYN, by Jonathan Lethem
Jonathan Lethem's astonishing "Fortress of Solitude" places him in the first rank of American novelists.

DANCER by Colum McCann
A beautiful, floating novel about the life of Rudolf Nureyev.

THE FOURTH STAR, by Leslie Brenner
Who Stole the Squeeze-Bottle?

ELIZABETH AND MARY: COUSINS, RIVALS, QUEENS by Jane Dunn
A wholly engrossing and sumptuous retelling of a tale that entered legend even before its protagonists were dead.

COMING OUT: LETTERS IN THE ATTIC by Bonnie Shimko
It all works out in the end, but this isn’t your ordinary adolescent fiction.

DUCHESS DEAREST by Christopher Wilson
A dodgy new book claims that Wallis Simpson was genetically a man and romanced a much younger gay playboy -- "Dancing With the Devil" shouldn't be critiqued so much as held at a distance with tongs.

AMERICAN RHAPSODY by Joe Ezsterhas
Let's face it, America:A straight man “telling all” isn't telling much.

OUT OF THE FLAMES by Lawrence and Nancy Goldstone
The scholar who enraged Calvin and inspired the Unitarians was gruesomely executed for writing a book.

YOU SHALL KNOW OUR VELOCITY by Dave Eggers
Stop squawking about the money, the youth and the fame -- there's a real writer among us, and Dave Eggers' new novel proves it.

MORE, NOW, AGAIN by Elizabeth Wurtzel
Sorry, Elizabeth -- wake up dead next time and you might have a book on your hands.

AFTERBURN by Colin Harrison
It's mean. It's tough.It's ugly.It's male.But is it art?

DISCO BLOODBATH, by James St. James
Violent death doesn't get more FABULOUS than the murder of drug dealer Angel Melendez by party promoter Michael Alig.

AFTER THE FALL by Suzanne Somers
The difference between Suzanne Somers and Mary Magdalene is greater than you know.

BLOODSTAINED KINGS by Tim Willocks
A shocking, gore-drenched story of lust, betrayal and (inevitably) miscegenation on the bayou.

PLACE FOR US by D. A. Miller
Is that icon of gay culture, the Broadway musical, a dead genre?A new book by a Columbia professor puts another nail in its coffin.

DREAMING OF HITLER by Daphne Merkin
If these collected essays are any indication, Merkin’s quest for self-abasement didn't end or begin with a check from Tina Brown.

THE FEMININE FORCE
Georgette Mosbacher has earned every one of those power lunches, every one of those houses and gowns, those cars, those jewels, those shiny incisors and that big red hair.

LISTENING TO PROZAC by Dr. Peter Kramer
The harder we're urged these days to follow our bliss and run with the wolves the more determined are the experts, in their oily little hearts, that we stay on the straight and narrow.

CRANK CALL

For a complete "Crank Call" archive, 2001-2007, go HERE

WEATHER OR NOT
Talking about the weather is the very best thing to avoid talking about something else -- Dick Cheney, for example.

JONBENET WHO?
Let’s face it, from the point of view of media scandal, the kind the public gobbles up, this summer’s been Double Dullsville.

ANTI-DOPING FOR BUSH
The New York Times reports that in Washington they’ve started serving French fries again in the congressional cafeteria, the idea of “Freedom Fries,” after five years, being a little too stupid for even Republicans to contemplate.

QUEENGELINA JOLIE
We need someone who’ll rule us by fiat, with an iron fist – or, in Angelina’s case, iron lips.

AN OPEN LETTER TO G. W. BUSH
George, you’ll have to forgive me for not addressing you as “Mr. President.” I’d like to honor your office, at least, but in your case I’m not allowed.

DUKING DUKE
It’s always nice to see a Republican in the slammer, even if there’s room for so many more.

BAD TASTE(S)
We’re Number One, all right – number one in military spending, arm sales, foreign debt and useless consumption.

FRUIT FLIGHT
Schizophrenic? Maybe, but let’s not use technical terms for people of faith.

GRILLING THE VIRGIN
Frankly, the features fried onto this particular sandwich might just as easily be those of Catherine Zeta-Jones.

TIME TO START FINISHING
There are too many things going on right now to worry about who busted who in Coral Gables. That ought to be “whom” — I know that.

JUST APPALLED
Stamping his foot like Shirley Temple, the President of the United States concluded, “I didn’t like it one bit.”

STANDING SMALL
Still dreaming? Then dream about Junior pretending to be a statesman.

BIBLE TIME
The Lord doesn’t mind a little stealing, really, because He puts it way, way down on the list of things thou shalt not do.

FLIP-FLOP
Right now, Mel Gibson could say that the world is balanced on the back of a giant turtle and half the population would flip-flop itself into believing it.

THE BREAST THAT ATE PITTSBURGH
It’s hard to know if the sight of Janet Jackson’s dexter mammary posed an “imminent” threat to public morality, or if it was merely “urgent,” “immediate,” “serious,” “mortal” and “mounting.”

MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO
There’ll be Starbucks in Baghdad by Christmas.

LETTER TO MARS
Maybe what Dubya really meant to say on that battleship was “Mission Undiminished!” You know how he is with sentences – not the brightest boy on the block.

YEAR-END REVIEW 2003
Which was the biggest story of 2003 - the Bush administration's illegal war against Iraq or the new charges of child-molestation against Michael Jackson?

POP GOES THE CULTURE
You just keep your eyes on Harry Potter!

SANCTUM SANTORUM?
Don’t ask Santorum to “apologize,” folks. Vote Democratic and throw the bums out.

ROYAL FLUSH
“Risible” is as risible does.

AMERICAN BATTLEAXE
Barbara Bush is said to regret that she has sometimes been “too outspoken” in public life – outspoken by whom?

CAPITOL COMEDY
Maybe the truth is funnier than the jokes.

YEAR END REVIEW 2002
This column is written with a two-week lead, so I don’t know how the cliffhanging drama of Christmas sales actually turned out.

E PLURIBUS BUNKUM
Take “civility” -- please!

CENTURY'S END
It’s worse than you think.

FAT CHANCE
Having been instructed for ten years to eat anything and everything with fat in it, I’m now told to eat lettuce with lemon juice and, if I like, a delicious carrot or two at bedtime.

FRESH HECHE
For those of you who don’t have this kind of news regularly thrust in your in-box, an update is in order.

RENEE ZELLWEGER
The only thing actresses are called upon to do in the movies anymore is stand around and look worried while the men save civilization.

TITANIC
The only thing I didn't know about Titanic before I saw it was that Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet end up having sex in the back seat of a car.

THE DEVIL'S OWN
A slobbering fantasy about guns, the Emerald Isle, and Whaht-A-Mahn's-Got-Ta-Dew, all of it spoken in Irish accents so phony you can see the leprechaun on the box-top.

SUNSTRUCK
If people knew how disgusting 11-year-old boys really are, they’d drown them at birth.

THANKSGIVING MEMORY
Pumpkins are selfish fruits -- they don't forget.

RULES GIRLS
What happens to a Rules Girl when a man finds out how manipulative she is I don't want to know.

NO MOORE DEMI
An Internet search turned up more than 300,000 "hits" on Demi, and if that's not fluoride in the water, I don't know what is.

BOTOX BLUES
No wonder you look worried!